Pulling the levers

I've been trying to figure out for a few days what I have to say about Rick Adelman's retirement, in part because my first response when thinking about Adelman is kind of ridiculous (more on that in a minute), and in part because I really don't have great perspective on how to evaluate him.

So to begin with the latter point. Adelman was a player (I'm sure I knew that at one point, but I had forgotten) and coach for a long, long time. Great. The reason I lack perspective: I only really noticed him when he coached the Kings. Sure, I had a vague sense that he was somewhat effective after he left Sacramento, but I didn't pay that much attention. The only time I really closely followed the NBA was when Adelman was coaching the Kings, and not coincidentally, the team nearest me was most relevant. Yeah, yeah, I'm not a great fan and all that; basketball isn't at the top of my list of priorities. I'll watch it once in awhile, I can appreciate it, but I'm not as drawn to it as I am to baseball and football, perhaps because I didn't play it competitively (I mean, I was on a team and we tried to win, but I stunk, so I, at least, wasn't competitive in the sense of relevant--I was quick and could jump, but didn't really have any actual skills). But I did pay attention to Adelman's Kings.

And apparently that was the key: they were Adelman's Kings. That mattered, it seems. For some reason I've always thought he looked like Gentle Rosenburg, the Arquillian jeweler in Men in Black (and also, who knew there was a MiB wiki?!). When Rosenburg is in the morgue after being killed by the Bug, Agent J/"Dr. White" and Laurel Weaver find and press a button on his ear, and the face plate slides back to reveal the actual Arquillian inside his head, pulling levers to operate what's essentially a gigantic robot/mechanism. So maybe this isn't so ridiculous after all--but Adelman was really the Arquillian pulling the levers, and the team was the body (which means by extension the players were the pieces of the body--Chris Webber can be anything but the knees, Scot Pollard is obviously the hair, Vlade Divac the nose, Bobby Jackson the hands, let's make Doug Christie the vestigial tailbone, Jason Williams the eyes, Peja Stojakovic the lead feet...). Whatever, it worked, and I guess that's as good a way as any to remember a coach, and Adelman.